What Does Self-Sabotage Feel Like?

“Winning takes precedence over all. There’s no gray area. No almosts.”

— Kobe Bryant

Imagine you had a safe with $5,000,000.00 in it…and this safe had a combination lock that required 6 numbers to open…

How much would a tiny slip of paper with those 6 numbers mean to you?

Today, I am offering you a slip of paper with those 6 numbers on it.

However, before I share that with you…let me first provide an important insight that could be holding you back from achieving everything you ever wanted.

It used to irritate me that people would buy my material and then not put the ideas and strategies to work in their life.

Others were using it to break sales records, write books, pay off mortgages and achieve a host of amazing results.

Why wasn’t everybody using it?

The secrets were there.

The how-to steps were delivered on a silver platter.

Why weren’t people taking action?

Now I know the reason.

It’s because of self-sabotage.

The truth is…

If you want to achieve something and are trying and failing, or not trying at all, it’s because of the person in your mirror: YOU!

Yes, I know that’s a hard pill to swallow. But the only person running or ruining your life is you.

For a wide variety of reasons, we often stop ourselves from achieving the very thing we say we want.

It all happens inside ourselves; in our own mind. And often it happens without our conscious awareness.

“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.” — Vern Law

The following is a short list of goals in no particular order that (for most people) will never get achieved this year, next year…or any year for that matter.

Allow me to provide the list first…and the reason why immediately after.

1. Getting in great physical shape through a diet and exercise regimen.

2. Launching a business or initiative whose aim is to take control of your destiny.

3. The pursuit of any calling in writing, painting, music, film, dance, or any creative art.

4. Any program of spiritual enlightenment to obtain greater peace of mind.

5. The learning of a new language or hobby so as to expand your horizons.

6. Any course designed to overcome an unwholesome habit or addiction.

7. Education of any kind that would provide greater career options.

8. Any act of political, moral, or ethical courage.

9. The decision to change some unhealthy pattern of thought or conduct in ourselves.

10. The taking of any principled stand in the face of adversity.

11. Any act that entails commitment of the heart, time and money.

12. Becoming debt free and financially secure.

Why is it that these goals will enjoy very little traction in people’s lives?

How is it even remotely possible that most people will barely make a dent on any of their goals?

The answer: Self-Sabotage

Self sabotage is a state of mind which damages your belief in yourself and your abilities to achieve that which you want to achieve.

Self-sabotage is the thing that is holding you back from doing what you know you need to be doing.

While it can’t be seen, touched, heard or even smelled…the extraordinary thing about self-sabotage is that it makes its presence felt.

It manifests itself in your body and your mind, and goes to work like an angry jackhammer…pounding hard and loud.

What does self-sabotage feel like?

It begins with sadness, stress and distress. We feel like an imposter, a fraud…like someone who is unworthy of success and we begin to act in ways that work to REPEL success.

It pervades everything…

How we think, talk, walk and even our posture and facial expression is impacted by it.

We feel unloved and undeserving of success, and begin to act in self-destructive ways…in effect, we seize failure from the jaws of victory.

Self-sabotage is negative energy.

It has no redeeming value.

It exists to debilitate not liberate talent.

It’s goal is to take you off course…and keep you there.

Self-sabotage is self-generated, self-perpetuated and hell bent on your self-destruction.

Self-sabotage does not play to wound, it plays to kill.

It places a bulls eye on whatever you want to be, have and do and aggressively works to kill your hopes, dreams and fondest desires.

To beat self-sabotage…be prepared for war as it understands nothing but brute strength and it will not give in without one hell of a fight.

“Second Quote.”
— Author


Self-sabotage is as dumb as it is forceful.

It leaves clues and has a working game plan which can be broken-down, picked apart and overcome.

There are four self-defeating elements that disrupt our abilities to fully pursue our goals.

Everyone…including you and I share these characteristics.

The extent to which they result in self-sabotage and interfere with our abilities is only a matter of degree.


Think about what happens when you begin to even consider working on a new project or goal, when you simply get the whiff of any idea that lies the slightest bit outside your comfort zone.

As if operating on automatic pilot…self-sabotage immediately goes to work.

It wastes no time in weaseling its way into your head…planting seeds of doubt, uncertainty, and fear.

And like a knee jerk response…you immediately begin to focus on the negative over the positive, on what’s bad instead of what’s good, on the reasons why you can’t rather than why you can.

If you want to win the battle of self-sabotage…the only way is through it.

That small voice telling you that you’re not good enough, smart enough or unworthy of success is a lying son of a bitch.

It’s a no good rotten scoundrel that must be met and overcome by a strong, healthy mind and fueled by an indomitable spirit.

The good news?

Your beliefs, thoughts and reactions are the things that you’re in complete control of…which is to say, you are always working from a position of strength.

You just have to convince yourself of that.


There are some types of behaviors which tend to increase and empower self-sabotage. One of the most common of these is procrastination.

We all know this malevolent friend which tells us of the extensive list of better things we can choose to do in the moment instead of working on what’s most important.

Procrastination is a special and pervasive type of avoidance.

By making excuses or by doing something else…you are actually avoiding the priority activity which would lead you to the goal.

Be mindful…avoidance behaviors are at the root of most fears and anxieties.

Overcoming the gravitational pull of avoidance behavior is not easy…but it can be done and it must be done if you have any intention of making your mark on the world.

Procrastination like any form of avoidance behavior is a choice…and to fully appreciate the value of that statement…you must understand the purpose of making a choice.

Every choice you make regardless of size must have a purpose…which is to advance you north in the direction of your goals.

Every choice counts — there are no insignificant choices, no neutral actions.

Therefore overrule the voices in your head by choosing to engage in proactive behavior.

Always, always, always answer with action.

By doing so, you will overcome the devastating impact of self-sabotage.


Self-sabotage is a devious little monster that loves to impede your focus.

It thoroughly enjoys manipulating and distracting you with unnecessary and irrelevant low level activity.

You cannot afford to give self-sabotage the upper hand, nor can you afford to devalue your talents and reputation by having a focus deficit.

Without a long sustained focus…you place a death sentence on your goals, and you’ll eventually wind up on the endangered species list.

That’s how this bastard works.

Self-sabotage or resistance in any way hates focus for the simple reason that it knows it’s losing the fight.

Focus is the ultimate power move…for the simple reason that the primary objective of having focus is to dominate your market, to intimidate weaker competitors…to overpower fear…and to fast track your goals.

Focus is the big stick that allows you to give your life and your goals the time, care and attention they deserve.


Decreased energy and motivation is the end result of negative self-talk, avoidance behavior and focusing issues. They grind on you and work to beat you up and wear your down.

Here’s a outstanding rule to remember especially when it comes to you getting close to the end…to success.

While self-sabotage is always lurking nearby…the danger is greatest at the beginning and near the finish line.

This is why my driving philosophy in life is to START FAST and FINISH STRONG.

At the beginning…the tactics of self-sabotage are little more than the whispering of a few words of doubt.

A simple BOO…is all it takes to get most people to give up on their goals, throw in the towel and surrender to self-doubt.

It’s sad, but true as to how little faith people have in themselves and their ideas.

And, when the finish line is near…when the last 10% is in sight…that’s when self-sabotage goes into full beast mode because it knows you have it on the ropes.


When self-sabotage knows you’re about to beat it…it hits the panic button.

It marshals a few more psychological assaults, lobs a few more grenades, gives you an unexpected and costly obstacle or setback…it launches one last assault and slams you with everything it’s got.

You must be alert for this counterattack.

Expect it and be wary at the end.

That’s why you must strengthen your resolve.

You must ENFORCE YOUR WILL over this mother of a resistance force…and you better grab that brass ring with both hands and hold on tight.

Do not underestimate this freak of nature as self-sabotage is real…it plays for keeps, and to win the battle for your goals and dreams…you must answer with action by playing a strong relentless offense.


We’re all playing a high stakes game of one and done…and if you’re ever going to find your greatness, if you’re ever going to make your mark on the world…you must decide that what you want is BIGGER and far more important than the resistance force which prevents you from achieving it.

Self-sabotage is an engine of destruction…it understands nothing but brute force.

Therefore, you must develop an indomitable spirit, an unbreakable will, a relentless resolve to rise above the dirty tricks and diabolical mind games of self-sabotage.

You must choose to put self-sabotage behind you — to stare it in the eye, walk straight through it and advance towards your goals with confidence, conviction, and certainty.

I’ll leave you with this final burst of optimism and encouragement…

If resistance and self-sabotage couldn’t be beaten, there would be no Eiffel Tower, no man on the Moon, and certainly no Mona Lisa.

We’re wrong if we think we’re the only ones struggling with resistance and self-sabotage issues.

Everyone deals with the issues…but the great ones fight their way through it and make big things happen.

It’s time for you to unleash your greatness and make your mark.

Everything Counts!

Gary Ryan Blair is creator of the 100 Day Challengea radical approach to goal achievement that shows you how to 10X your goals by applying the strategies of growth hacking.

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