If It Is To Be, It's Up To Me

"No one is going to come to your house and make your dreams come true."

The unpleasant truth is this…

At the end of the day, we’re on your own…we’ve got no one but ourselves.

However, if we’re lucky enough, we have our friends, our family and our significant other living their lives next to us.

Here and there, people calling, texting and inviting us over.

Family dinners spent in love, catching up with friends in laughter and joy.

Yet, when we get home in the evening, take a shower, step into the bed and close our eyes in order to get ready for another day…we’ve got no one but ourselves.

When we need to decide what to do next when life gives us tough choices, we’ve got no one but ourselves.

When we live inside our heads, day in and day out, with our thoughts, our fears, our feelings and our sparks of joy, we’ve got no one but ourselves to navigate them and make sense of them.

When life gets a tough twist, we’re left with us to navigate it. No one can navigate it for us.

When life goes well, we’re left with us to celebrate it. No one can celebrate it for us.

When life goes numb, we’re left with us to find our direction again. No one can find it for us.

Pieces of advice, late phone talks chatting with our friends in order to find some compassion and understanding, a shoulder to cry on…all is good.

Yet it cannot save us.

No one in this world is responsible for us apart from ourselves. For our happiness. For our sadness. For our boredom. For our anger. For our fear.

No one in this world is responsible for making our lives better. Easier. More digestible. Or for that matter, save us.

It’s us. In the end, we’ve got no one but ourselves. Which is both scary and liberating.

It’s scary because it puts responsibility in our hands.

"You're on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the one who'll decide where to go."– Dr Seuss

It’s liberating because a feeling of control comes with it.

Too often we turn away from ourselves and into the world. For fear of facing that which cannot be faced. For fear of dealing with our darkness.

In the movie “Into the Wild”, the character of Chris McCandless borrows this from Primo Levi:

“And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head.”

We all want to navigate this world the best we can.

For this, we have to learn to live with ourselves.

Learn to live with our thoughts.

Learn to live with our failures.

Learn to live with our fears.

With our success. With our sacrifices. With our regrets.

At the end of the day, we have no one but ourselves.

The most important thing in this life is how well we live with ourselves.

What we say to ourselves.

The standards we set for ourselves.

How much do we believe in ourselves?

How much we willingly push and challenge ourselves.

How much of a friendship do we have with ourselves?

How much we demand of ourselves?

So feel strong even if you’re not.

Feel courageous even if you’re not.

Feel like you can take over the world even if you can’t.

Feel happy and okay with yourself.

Forgive yourself.

Be kind to yourself.

Accept yourself.

Gaze into yourself.

Love yourself.

And most importantly…

Choose to be your own hero.

Because at the end of the day, you’re on your own…you’ve got no one but yourself.

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